Somewhere Times

SABOTAGE!!

Fern Viridian, staff reporter

Proponents of the Roy G. Biv highway project got a rude awakening this morning, when it was discovered that construction was halted before it could even begin, and for a shocking reason: an act of SABOTAGE has been committed at the construction site.

Police Chief Burgundy reports that a group of unknown vandals attacked the site overnight. “Dynamite and tools were stolen, and all the construction vehicles were sabotaged. Whoever did this intended to cripple the project, and they have. It'll be days if not weeks before construction can begin again.”

Moreover, Somewhere's only cellphone tower was also sabotaged, and probably by the same group.

“The responsible party obviously wants to isolate Somewhere, and hamper our ability to find them. But they won't.”

Traditional or so-called “landline” phones have not been affected by the sabotage, and neither has internet access.

Mayor Orange estimates damage costs to be upwards of $350,000.

Repairs to the cellphone tower began immediately, but will take some time to complete. For now, highway construction is slated to begin a week from Tuesday.

Somewhere Police Department

From the Desk of the Chief of Police

To: Mayor Orange

From: Chief Burgundy

RE: Hope theft

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your serious consideration of our mutual problem. Ardor Labs and the Friends of Somewhere's Recycling Committee have been applying a fair amount of pressure on the police department to solve the ongoing thefts from the recycling center. This is a law enforcement issue but there is definitely room for political action. Magenta Vermillion, head of public relations at Ardor Labs, is calling the thefts industrial sabotage. But we must not rule out other possibilities: for example, diversion. The stolen hope may have been sold on the black market. I doubt there is a demand for illicit hope in our own city, but what about other places? Nowhere, perhaps?

I believe that our joint efforts will clear up this matter in a timely fashion. Hopefully, before the completion of the Roy G. Biv highway.