Somewhere Police Department

From the Desk of the Chief of Police

To: Mayor Orange

From: Chief Burgundy

RE: Hope theft

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your serious consideration of our mutual problem. Ardor Labs and the Friends of Somewhere's Recycling Committee have been applying a fair amount of pressure on the police department to solve the ongoing thefts from the recycling center. This is a law enforcement issue but there is definitely room for political action. Magenta Vermillion, head of public relations at Ardor Labs, is calling the thefts industrial sabotage. But we must not rule out other possibilities: for example, diversion. The stolen hope may have been sold on the black market. I doubt there is a demand for illicit hope in our own city, but what about other places? Nowhere, perhaps?

I believe that our joint efforts will clear up this matter in a timely fashion. Hopefully, before the completion of the Roy G. Biv highway. 

Nowhere Report

Somewhere City Hall

Memorandum

From: Amarillo Saffron

To: Mayor Orange

Re: Data gathered for Nowhere report

Mayor Orange:

I've attached my initial findings for your consideration. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn when I ask if you knew about any of this before you started planning for the Roy G. Biv highway project. The data is startling to say the least. I can only imagine that the president of Ardor Labs would not want to locate their new facility on contaminated land. I'm not questioning your judgement, sir. I want this highway built as much as you. I'm going to continue my research. Perhaps I'll be able to find other sources of information that prove that this data is faulty.

Findings

Median age of Nowhere residents: 13

Unemployment rate: 100%

Average Highest Level of Education Achieved: 7th grade

Acres of Arable Land: 0

Population: Unknown