Somewhere Times

SABOTAGE!!

Fern Viridian, staff reporter

Proponents of the Roy G. Biv highway project got a rude awakening this morning, when it was discovered that construction was halted before it could even begin, and for a shocking reason: an act of SABOTAGE has been committed at the construction site.

Police Chief Burgundy reports that a group of unknown vandals attacked the site overnight. “Dynamite and tools were stolen, and all the construction vehicles were sabotaged. Whoever did this intended to cripple the project, and they have. It'll be days if not weeks before construction can begin again.”

Moreover, Somewhere's only cellphone tower was also sabotaged, and probably by the same group.

“The responsible party obviously wants to isolate Somewhere, and hamper our ability to find them. But they won't.”

Traditional or so-called “landline” phones have not been affected by the sabotage, and neither has internet access.

Mayor Orange estimates damage costs to be upwards of $350,000.

Repairs to the cellphone tower began immediately, but will take some time to complete. For now, highway construction is slated to begin a week from Tuesday.