Somewhere Times

SABOTAGE!!

Fern Viridian, staff reporter

Proponents of the Roy G. Biv highway project got a rude awakening this morning, when it was discovered that construction was halted before it could even begin, and for a shocking reason: an act of SABOTAGE has been committed at the construction site.

Police Chief Burgundy reports that a group of unknown vandals attacked the site overnight. “Dynamite and tools were stolen, and all the construction vehicles were sabotaged. Whoever did this intended to cripple the project, and they have. It'll be days if not weeks before construction can begin again.”

Moreover, Somewhere's only cellphone tower was also sabotaged, and probably by the same group.

“The responsible party obviously wants to isolate Somewhere, and hamper our ability to find them. But they won't.”

Traditional or so-called “landline” phones have not been affected by the sabotage, and neither has internet access.

Mayor Orange estimates damage costs to be upwards of $350,000.

Repairs to the cellphone tower began immediately, but will take some time to complete. For now, highway construction is slated to begin a week from Tuesday.

ROY G BIV HIGHWAY PROJECT CREATES A RIFT AMONG SOMEWHERE RESIDENTS

54% of Residents Polled Look Forward to the So-Called "Road to Nowhere" while 45% Call the Mayor's Pet Project an "Impending Disaster"

Fern Viridian, staff reporter

I spoke with Mayor Orange today, less than a month before construction is scheduled to begin on the Roy G. Biv highway, about his feelings concerning the project. I also asked him about public opinion polls which show that only a mere fifty-four percent of citizens are in favor of the future highway.

"What do you say to those who call the highway a vanity project?"

Mayor Orange frowned. "I'd remind them that the Roy G Biv highway will create jobs--good, stable jobs with sizable incomes. The sorts of jobs that fuel the American dream. Without the highway the new Ardor Labs facility would just be a proposal sitting on a shelf in an office somewhere, ignored. It would be a pipe dream. Instead, by this time next year it will be open and there will be hundreds of new opportunities for Somewhere residents."

"That brings me to my next question. Detractors are saying that the highway itself isn't a bad idea, but the location of it is. Why a road to Nowhere? We don't trade with Nowhere. And you yourself have stated that Nowhere's Mayor is opposed to the project."

"Mayor Blue may be opposed to the highway but I suspect that the average Nowhere resident would favor it, if he understood what it could mean for his quality of life. Nowhere is...strangely cut off from the outside world. We don't know much about that city. And Mayor Blue is an enigma."

"My mother used to tell me tales about Mayor Blue when I was a child."

"Oh yeah?" Mayor Orange chuckled.

"Yeah. I never used to think he was real. To me, he was like a boogeyman."

"He still is, to a lot of people."