Nowhere Report

Somewhere City Hall

Memorandum

From: Amarillo Saffron

To: Mayor Orange

Re: Data gathered for Nowhere report

Mayor Orange:

I've attached my initial findings for your consideration. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn when I ask if you knew about any of this before you started planning for the Roy G. Biv highway project. The data is startling to say the least. I can only imagine that the president of Ardor Labs would not want to locate their new facility on contaminated land. I'm not questioning your judgement, sir. I want this highway built as much as you. I'm going to continue my research. Perhaps I'll be able to find other sources of information that prove that this data is faulty.

Findings

Median age of Nowhere residents: 13

Unemployment rate: 100%

Average Highest Level of Education Achieved: 7th grade

Acres of Arable Land: 0

Population: Unknown